Liv McNulty, LPC

Was there an experience, relationship or period in your life that changed how you understand healing and connection?

Early in my career and training, a loved one experienced life-changing bad therapy. I personally witnessed how “bad therapy” can influence a person’s life just as much as “good therapy” can. Through this experience, I learned that being well-intentioned in people’s care wasn’t enough. In my opinion, being a good therapist requires the humility to understand that you won’t know everything, and sometimes the best thing you can do for a client is help them find someone who is a better fit. I have found that when people understand I intend to help them, even when it means not being on my caseload. Our connection on the same common goal doesn’t feel forced or artificial. Due to my personal experience, I strive to provide good therapy by constantly doing the work of knowing my limitation and being a lifelong learner.

What do clients often feel relieved that they do not have to explain, hide or justify with you?

People often come to me when they want someone who will just “get it.” One of my specialties is working with adoptees. I have found that clients from this community are often relieved to work with me because we have a shared experience. As an adoptee myself, I understand the themes and feelings around gratitude, guilt, loss, etc. Feelings about adoption can be complex because two feelings can be true at once; a person can love their adoptive family and have feelings about their adoption. Working with someone who understands these feelings can feel like a relief because they don’t need to justify their complex feelings.

If a client described you after their first few sessions, what would you hope they would say?

After a few sessions with me, I would hope a client would say that they feel comfortable. My sessions are often conversational and almost like a think tank of us ping-ponging thoughts off of each other. I find this helps as a way to open dialog and help the client feel more relaxed.

How do you help someone move away from asking, “What is wrong with me?” and toward understanding what they have adapted to or survived?

When a client asks. “What is wrong with me?” I provide psychoeducation on coping skills. I believe we develop coping skills to help us survive difficult situations. During that time, the coping skill might feel like a great way to get through whatever the hardship is. As we experience time and/or growth, that same coping skill might not be serving you the way that it used to. However, this can be hard to identify alone, and so the person continues to do the same things over and over. Yet, the coping skill doesn’t work like it used to and may even be causing friction now. Therapy can help the person feel gratitude toward the coping skill for working at some point while also acknowledging that it is no longer helping them. The point is to not be mad at old skills/or self but create and adapt new ones for the person you are today.