Why winter feels so hard on moms, and how to care for yourself anyway

Take a moment to picture a classic winter scene: snow delicately falling, blanketing the world in quiet, glittery magic.

Now picture the actual winter scene for a mom.

Cue one child melting down because hats, gloves, coats; and another in screaming because snow is wet. Cue the gross, muddy snow sludge that somehow ends up on floors, rugs, pets, and the walls. Literally, it’s everywhere.

Motherhood is hard without the cold, the perpetual darkness, and the eight million layers required just to walk outside. Winter simply bundles all of those challenges together… then adds holidays, expectations, social pressure, family gatherings, school events, sick season, and the annual tradition of wondering why moms are so depleted. Yee. Haw.

If winter feels hard for you as a parent, don’t worry - you aren’t alone! Come worry with other moms. (High School Musical had it right - we’re all in this together…just separately because snow, driving, and at least one kid is most likely sick.)

The truth is… motherhood is isolating. Add unpredictable weather, germs galore, and the crushing weight of “making the magic happen,” and it’s no wonder winter pushes so many moms outside their window of tolerance. 

Also, do you know how hard it is to convince your child to put on the layers..take off the layers…put them back on…and then back off? Sounds like a lot of I’d rather not.

So why is winter so hard on moms?

Because it simply is. 

You’re balancing:

• Higher expectations

• Lower energy

• Lower daylight

• Higher emotional labor

• More logistics

• More germs

• More “fun memories” you’re supposed to manufacture

• More laundry, because layers… 

• And often, a sinking mood that comes with the season 

AND, at the same time, winter does hold tiny pockets of cozy, magical moments you may actually want to experience. The both/and of motherhood is real. Winter can suck…and it can be sweet. Both can be true. 

Pause and notice what you need.

Take a moment and check in with yourself:

What are you sensing? Feeling? Wanting? Avoiding?

If winter brings a sensation of being rushed or overwhelmed, maybe what you need this season is slowness, simplicity, and permission not to do everything.

Come back to your values.

What values do you want to carry into this season?

• Intentional time with your kids?

• Honoring traditions?

• Connecting with extended family?

• Protecting routines?

• Mental health survival?

• Not losing your absolute sh*t? 

There may be parts of winter you do not value (again, the snow sludge), and that’s valid. Identifying what you do value can help you set boundaries, simplify plans, and make choices that support your sanity.

Living aligned with your values doesn’t give us more daylight, but it might make winter suck a little less.

Naming your values helps you re-orient when the season starts pulling you in fifty directions. 

Create a loose winter itinerary.

No, you don’t need to become a cruise director for your household.

But you can create a loose structure or menu of options to break up that unique winter monotony where time feels fake.

Consider:

• A weekly library story time

• A local business craft event

• A kids play cafe

• A weekly baking or craft routine, love those little craft kids from Dollar Tree 

• A family movie/blanket nest night

• A standing play date swap with another parent

• MAYBE a walk outside or playground trip if it doesn’t hurt to exist outside a day

Just a sprinkle of planned coziness can help anchor you through the season. 

You don’t need to move mountains either, small shifts can make a difference.

• Take a 60-second pause - name what you are feeling, breathe

• Front-load transitions for kids - “In 5 minutes…”

• Say “that won’t work for us” 

• Intentionally lower the bar

• Place a hand lotion at every sink in your house because you know your hands are dry and driving you bonkers

• While you’re doing that, get a chapstick for the cars, nightstands, purse, diaper bag. Dealing with winter AND chapped lips?! No thank you. 

Winter can be dark, heavy, overstimulating, and exhausting…AND it can hold moments of warmth, magic, connection, and rest. 

You’re allowed to make this season whatever you and your family need it to be. Like Whose Line, the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.
But seriously, winter may not be your favorite season, and that’s okay. You get to define what ‘good enough’ looks like this season.

Written by Tayler Giffen, LPC, PMH-C (she/her)